Home is where you feel the safest. Maybe you don't feel that when you are in that home ever since you were little, and couldn't wait to go out as soon as possible when you aged older. You had that feeling of wanting to be a grown up and set out on your own, in your own way and decide your own terms.
It was all a good start. You had your first legal ID card when you were seventeen. LEGAL to do anything. You are a "grown" person. As happy as you may felt, you planned everything from the very first month. You planned every single things, even your outfit schedules. All because of the privilege to pursue what you wanted. Everybody in that age deserved to do that. When you first wanted to go fighting for a dream, a nonsense dream a lot would say. You wanted to mock their faces off and couldn't wait to get out there and prove yourself to slam those people who didn't think you could do it. You refused to listen. You kept on going. Only with your own strength, that comes with fears and a lot of turbulence situations that made you a stronger person when you were living your life, alone.
Aged eighteen, you set out for a year, you had your own place to live. a new life, a new plan to start. You thought home was never a good place for you. You felt a comfortable place for you was the place you were staying then. Never once you've thought of going back home and visit everyone in your hometown once in a while. Never. One day, your mom called you and you said, "I'm so happy here. I won't go back for a while". You heard your mom said, "that's great. Whatever you do, we will always support you from here". As good as it sounded, it felt a little sad on her tone. You never thought it was a big deal. And you kept on going to live a "happy" life.
It will be your 30th birthday. You have lived a tremendous life. A long spanning career. You will start a family. Have kids. Building a "home" for you and your new life. As a dad, as a wife, as a son-in-law, as a daughter-in-law. Will you think about the home you once were born in and grew up? Will you miss all the little things like being woken up by your dad and mom every morning when you went to school? Or when your dad and mom scolded you because you went home late? Or when the home became empty because all the children has gone out, only leaving their parents home... waiting for them to be home... someday... one day... until they die hoping... still hoping...
Never forget who you came from, which way you first walked through because in the end, we will cry over things that left us, but why can't we make time to cherish all the moments, make moments while we can..
Gary Arnandt
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